Monday, June 18, 2012

Link Up with These Passwords to Foil the LinkedIn Hackers

Linked In Login

So you've had your LinkedIn password stolen. Don't worry, it happens to everyone who can't think of a password more in-depth than 12345. Thankfully, I'm here to help you make a better password selection.

Why should a password not be the name of your kitten? Because once people know your LinkedIn password, they can change your profile. No longer are you a hotshot smart person at some hotshot smart firm. Nope, you're merely a fluffer for Vivid Entertainment, and merely an “adequate” one at that.

Don't get stuck in the fluffing corner, protect your password by choosing one from the following list of impenetrable passwords. They're so strong that nobody, not even Angelina Jolie in the hit docusmash “Hackers,” can crack your account. Now you might say choosing a list from what's bound to be a top 10 blog post in respect to LinkedIn passwords that involves references to Angelina Jolie might result in bad things. Bad things like people knowing your password.

This is a common fear to have, but don't worry, it won't happen. You see, hackers know you might choose a password from this list and from that, they know you won't choose one from this list. But you will choose one, because they don't know you know they know you know they know you know they know you know. Plus, they're hackers, so they're incompetent (no we're not-sincerely, Bob, the Hacker).

Top 6 Awesomely Impenetrable Password for People Who Had Their LinkedIn Password Stolen and Want Something as Equally Awesome as the Name of their Favorite Baha Men Song.

Angelina Jolie in Hackers
Curses, I can't hack into the account! I'll just have to be
content with my millions of dollars, neat kids and
Brad Pitts.
If you're one of those 12345 password people, have you ever considered going up to 123456? It's roughly 20 percent more secure than anything you could come up with on your own, yet you won't be too out of it to remember when you want to drunkenly log onto LinkedIn and angrily ask for a recommendation.

But our password protection solutions don't stop at just adding another sequential digit to your already super secure password. We strongly recommend inserting punclines to old Peanuts cartoons as your go-to password.

Solitary Single Space
Another great password is “Solitary Single Space.” This can mean either that phrase or, well just a solitary single space. Either way you're going to have an ironclad password. If you go with the former, who would guess that as a password? And if you go with the latter, nobody would guess a solitary single space as a password. Typing etiquette demands someone have two spaces after a period and what's a password but the start of a new sentence. If anything, those nefarious LinkedIn hackers would guess “Double Single Space,” and would face an error page of doom.

Use my cat's name as a password. His name is Sprocket, and he's adorable. But what's even more adorable is if there were 32 of him. Sure, the world might spin out of its orbit under the weight of all that fur, but at least we'd go out in an adorable fashion.

Not a Random String of Characters
I'm not going to recommend a string of random characters, because when you forget that password (which you will), coming up with a new string of random characters is quite an undertaking.

One of the most common passwords to pop up from the LinkedIn hacking endeavor was “LinkedIn.” This is an entirely foolish password because the hacker can just look at his screen, realize he's on LinkedIn and make the connection to YOUR password. However, if you choose “Facbook” as your password, there's no way any hacker could make that connection.

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