Thursday, June 28, 2012

138th BreakMentalDown Post Spectacular

Troy McClure
It's the 138th Blog Post Spectacular. In this post you'll see madcap antics, insane guest stars, flan, kittens, and a wholly original idea that wasn't copped from “The Simpsons.”

How can we celebrate such a momentous occasion? The big 138 is not something to be taken lightly. However, I'm not going to just list off 138 random factoids about my previous posts, because that would require a factoid about THIS post, and I'm pretty sure that would suck the whole enterprise into some wormhole from which there is no return.

And I hate wormholes.

Instead, I decided to just list 19 random things that may or may not have been considered for a post at one time or another. With heavy emphasis on the “may not.”

138 Interesting Facts about the Creation of BreakMentalDown*

1. Just inventing an app called “Pornstagram” will not make you into an automatic billionaire. You need awesome filter names like “9 inchifier” and “Charcoal.”

2. Zombies are just like you, they just want to be loved. Although in their situation the phrase “Be loved” shall be known to mean “eat brains.”

3. I practice a very advanced form of Kung-Fu where I sit on the sofa and watch TV.

4. An entourage is unnecessary to view “Entourage.” Sure it might help, but eventually it will just devolve into everyone wanting to be Ari.

5. Put in contacts first, THEN touch Sriracha. Never flip that order.

6. If our toes were kept on our appendix, we wouldn't be so gung ho about bursting them all the time.

7. If you reprint old posts and give them a new title, it counts as both a new entry and a way to trip up Google.

8. Despite what Ernest Thayer might claim, I actually wrote “Casey at the Bat,” as an ode to my Westie dog.

9. Thirty eight percent of all UFOs are merely ducks with probes.

10. No, you can't pull off that wet suit.

11. The carrot is neither a car, nor does it rot. But the first part isn't true in awesome land.

13. People only watch baseball games out of obligations to their nephews.

Carrot Car
14. Pencils were created to punish those people who were dumb enough to takes the SAT.

15. I want to write a fan letter to Mavis Beacon, but I'm not certain if she'll get upset if I hand write the letter.

16. Ice cream makes a perfect breakfast, dinner and dessert. If you have it for lunch though, there's definitely something wrong with you.

17. Twelve is a metaphor.

18. Calling movie majors, movie majors, really angers “film majors.”

19. Life constantly imitates the smash PC game “The Sims.” Just the other day I died while swimming when someone removed the ladder.

20. There is no way Superman was a communist. Everyone knows the yellow sun does not shine in Communistville.

Now I'll leave you with what we all came here to see: hardcore nudity!

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